Journal of Pitfall Harry
by Random Guise
Summary: Based on the game "Pitfall II" released a million years ago. In this short, we get to see excerpts from Harry's journal he is keeping of his adventure. I don't own this character, I never made it to the end, and I'd love to play it again. *sigh*


**A/N: I played the original Pitfall on a friend's Atari 2600. Years later I managed to get a "non-authorized" copy of Pitfall II on my Atari 800 that was fun, but would glitch up whenever you grabbed one of the balloons. Ah, good times...**

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Journal of Pitfall Harry

Day 1 - I stand in a jungle ready to partake in a great adventure. Well, not exactly a jungle; the ground looks pretty flat for the most part. And the trees look like all the same type, now that I'm taking a moment to study them. Come to think of it, I'd rather be home sleeping in about now. And there's this Red Cross on the ground under me. X marks the spot? It's weird, but I don't see or hear any animals. What kind of jungle doesn't have any animals at all? I'd like to go back home to my niece Rhonda and my pet mountain lion Quickclaw, but I don't have a choice really; there's no way to leave! I guess adventure calls...

Day 2 - I've been walking around for quite a while now. Well, not really walking; I find myself running mostly when I'm not standing in one spot. And jumping over holes; I guess the ground was a little unstable around here in the past. I found some animals, but so far they're only bats and some type of buzzard or flying turkey. I don't have any weapon so I just have to dodge them.

I was wrong; there is animal life here that doesn't fly. I got bit by a scorpion already, but it didn't kill me luckily. Did I mention the poisonous frogs? I hate frogs. I also found out that those pits I've been jumping over are actually places to climb down from the surface, and there are ladders here so I _know_ someone has been here before. Unless they were made by aliens - better not think about it.

I found my first treasure! It was a bar of gold as big as a television which should have weighed close to a ton, but when I touched it I got this snappy tune playing in my head and some numbers flashed in the air above me. I don't feel any heavier, but the bar disappeared; it's like someone is saving it for me somewhere now. Weird.

Day 3 - I think I'm going crazy. I must have been running for days, but I'm not hungry, tired or thirsty - but that doesn't mean I wouldn't love to go for a cold beer about now. One time I got bit by one of the poisonous frogs - did I mention I hate frogs - and the last of my strength disappeared. I thought I was a goner, but I woke up on the surface where I started. And why can I see everywhere I go? The sun never sets above ground, and I can see where I'm going without any torches when I'm underground. I hear some water running ahead, I wonder if someone has a hydroelectric dam or something to power lights I can't see. There's got to be electricity somewhere. I found another one of those Red Crosses.

Day 4 - I found some electricity, courtesy of some electric eels swimming in an underground river. I didn't see it at first, but when I touched it I think I defiled the water. Ouch! I'm going to wait a while for the running water to clear away my bodily indiscretions. In the meantime I'll stay upstream. Weird thing, when the eel hit me I got teleported back to the last cross I stepped on. At least I didn't have to go all the way back to the beginning.

Another weird thing I just noticed; I can only run forward or turn and run in the other direction like I'm on some ledge or something. I didn't notice until I tried to sidestep a bat and got whacked in the head from it instead and then it was back to the last cross again. I can climb ladders and fall, but there's just this black wall on one side of me and...nothing?...on the other. It's creepy if I think about it too much.

Day 8 - Won't this music ever stop? I think I fell asleep standing up, and when I woke up I was humming that damn tune.

Day 12 - I think I jumped over my 5000th scorpion today. Good thing I have a watch on or I'd never know how long I've been down here. If it's running right, that is...

Day 15 - I think I hear an ice cream truck!

Day 16 - Just kidding about that ice cream truck. Same music in my head over and over again. But if I see an ice cream truck I'm chasing after it.

Day 20 - I think I have it figured out...I'm in Hell. I must have desecrated some ancient tomb in my earlier adventures when I was alive and somehow I died and now I'm stuck in an endless maze for eternity. I think I just dodged my 3000th bat. If this is eternity I guess I still have infinity to go, assuming I'm getting the math right.

Day 21 – I found a huge chasm with no way to jump or swing across. No point in sticking around that place; I could shout obscenities and wait for the echoes to come back but that would be childish. Maybe later.

Day 22 - I came back to the chasm and stood wondering how to get across when what should float by? A kids' balloon! Sure, why not! Maybe if I wait long enough a horse-drawn trolley will come by and take me to the zoo! He he he he he...

Day 22.5 - Sorry, went a little crazy there for a little bit. But get this - the balloon was floating along and when I grabbed the string it suddenly had enough lift to pull me off the ground and straight up! Please explain to me Mr. Newton, or Einstein or even my high school science teacher that I've forgotten the name of now - just how did THAT happen?

Day 25 - I found my niece Rhonda. Or something like her; Rhonda never shuts up and this one just stood there and didn't talk. I tried to touch her and she disappeared like all the gold bars. I mean, I always thought of my niece as a real treasure but _really_...

Day 30 - One month and I thought I'd seen everything, but today I found a ring. But not just any ring, this thing was the size a giant would wear; it was twice as big around as my waist! From the size of the openings so far I know a giant couldn't have been down here, but maybe someone stole it and dropped it while running around before me. But how can you lose something that big?

Day 35 - Now what is that blue box that just materialized? Don't tell me it's the TARDIS...

The End

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**A/N: You couldn't really lose at this game because you never died, but it was easy to get lost in all the screens. Just imagine if you were really _in_ the game...**

**I hear Bruce Campbell did the voice work for a later version of the game. I can imagine him reading these journal entries out loud as he writes them; try it - it works better for some reason, since I'm assuming you can't have Bruce there to read it himself. Later versions of the game had a lot better graphics naturally, but there is a certain charm of the original game I still feel when I see a video of it. Nostalgia I suppose.**


End file.
